I just stepped outside to get the mail. Returning, the view of the living room was a pleasant one. It's starting to get dark out, and the lights inside looked homey. I like this house. I really do. It's got good memories attached to it, and moreover it's just a nice place. Living here this semester has been a lot better than switching houses. Next semester it looks like I'll be switching houses again. My schedule won't give me an excuse to stay only here, and I couldn't handle the fallout if I did. And then, next year I'll be off somewhere else. And that'll be great. But, this is the first time I've had a real attachment to a place. It's interesting.
I think perhaps when we moved from K's house, the reason I didn't kick up a fuss was because she was making TOO much fuss, and couldn't believe that I wasn't horrendously upset to be leaving. She never understood that it's people, not places, that lend things significance for me. But we moved, and it was fine. And now, here... I don't mind leaving. But L's looking at selling it. Which is her decision, and that's also fine, and it would be good for her and M to move in together and settle down. I'll admit that I don't entirely get him, but he's good for her, and I'm happy to see her happy. His kids are awesome, too, if all older than me. (I met them at Thanksgiving and was very nervous, but they were all perfectly friendly, and one is a huge geek.) Mostly, for a moment I could see IX and myself living here. I stayed home all day and did nothing today, but if I could copy-edit from home... this is a place I'd love to do it. But I'll be gone soon, and as much as I'd love it, I could hardly make enough to even cover the mortgage on this place, let alone rent it out. So it'll stay a nice memory. And I'll keep thinking that someday I'll have a place like this and realize that cozy image in my head. It'll be difficult. And nothing like what I hope; after all, it is an idealized picture... But I'll make it work. And maybe moving across the pond wouldn't be so scary after all. I guess we'll see.
